The 18th century Frenchman Grimod de La Reynière is said to be the father of modern food journalism. He certainly told a good story. He had one about the “subtle Capuchin”, a monk with a quick but less-than-subtle wit.

He was taunted by a group of youthful rascals who provided a spit-roasted suckling pig, warning that whatever the monk did to the pig, they would do to him. If he should lop off a limb, they would remove his, and so on. The unruffled monk promptly stuck his finger in the pig’s anus and sucked it. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I heartily beg of you to carry out your menaces.” 

Michael Symons, The Pudding that Took a Thousand Cooks, 49.